I just feel like writing. I have no idea what I will write about, but I feel like it. Sadness comes and goes, smiles come and go, it is all part of a cycle that never ends. “It’s the circle of life…”, as it is said in the song with the same name from Disney’s “The Lion King”.
Think about being immature and childish and dreamy. Is it so wrong? Well, it is wrong to be immature, especially since you have passed 20 years old, but childish and dreamy? I think I will forever and ever be dreamy. Why? Because it’s a part of me that I don’t want to give up. My dreams are my little engine that keeps me going on, that gives me ideas, that allows me to hope. I seldom remember my night dreams. I guess I sleep too well and don’t wake up too often in my REM. But the other dreams, the daytime ones… they are better, aren’t they? We can control them, we can give them a course that pleases us and we can even make them come true if we really try hard.
Why am I worrying about these things anyway? Do I wonder if I should change? Is it adaptive to be childish and dreamy? Or does it help the others in my relationships with them? Am I a trouble maker for them? Or they just treat me like a kid *pat pat*? I wanna grow up but i don’t wanna grow older. That is a nice impossible dream, isn’t it? 
The thing is that I feel I am growing up all the time. Every week, every month I learn new things about me, about how I can react, how I can deal with people and with the problems that I face. Does that make me constantly immature? No way! ‘Cause with this pace, I will never end up mature, right? I will never stop. Or maybe that’s the way it should be. Never mature enough, but already passed the level of immaturity. Somewhere in between, in a fragile state of equilibrium.
I don’t think I made much sense here… although my purpose should have been having as many readers as possible… but… when you think with your “emotions” it’s hard to be coherent sometimes. All I can say is that I will do my best to stick to my dreams (those that can really come true) and I will try to be true to myself. Did I really need to make this statement public? Not really, but I felt like it. Helps me keep the promises to myself. Maybe it’s like vowing in front of God in the church for others. Ain’t it funny? It’s a bit scary, actually. And no, the crowds are not my God 
I’d better get back to work now, or people will believe I am crazy! Ha ha ha!
If being immature is so bad after one hits the magical age of 20, then hear hear… The most mature thing you could do is get yerself a husband, have sum kidz, and build a picket fence in front of your building. Gods know it would improve the view too.
You know, I tried to, but I just couldn’t settle on a coulour for the picket fence so I gave up eventually. Such decisions are so difficult, aren’t they?
Yes, yes, though I find the color of the right woman’s hair a much more confusing affair. Such decisions are difficult, they are.
Strange analogy following: The creator of Babylon 5 was asked how fast were the spaceships from his show. He said “They move at the speed of plot”. If they were required to get somewhere in time, that’s how fast they would go. If they had to fail reaching a place, they did so. Same with the right woman’s hair color: It’s going to be whatever color she chooses to have. Concerning immaturity, I am it incarnate and still seem to live a happy life. You can live like that if you want and if you can.
ROFL at Babylon 5 honesty. About hair, look who got the right idea. ^^ Shinju, take notes.
Btw, since yesterday I wasn’t actually replying to your post much, I’ll add sth today: “Every week, every month I learn new things about me, about how I can react, how I can deal with people and with the problems that I face.” That doesn’t make you immature, that makes you willing to grow (up). There’s a difference. Unfortunately for many, in humans “real” (or should I use “right” again? *laughs*) growth does not come with age. Unless, of course you talk about the growth of womanly protuberances, which does come with age (until a certain point) and it’s so very right. And real, at least at times.
@Peter pan’s heavy set aniki: of course, yesterday you were too concerned with the right woman’s hair colour, weren’t you? And yeah, I know enough people old enough to be my parents, but who have the wisdom of a frog. Shit happens, doesn’t it? I guess that at least being willing to change and to learn doesn’t make me immature (I hope, lol!).
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PS. You just had to mention those women protuberances, didn’t you?
@BlackHand: it must be a manly thing understanding about the right woman’s hair colour… or better said… understanding it YOUR (manly) way… women sometimes want something different all the time. Maybe that’s why we give you so many head aches, he he.
And yes, you are a big boy and I sure hope you’ll be able to live like this as long as possible, it’s part of your charm.
Good one about frogs. Frogs have potential. Just a kiss from the right one (and by that I don’t mean a woman *laughs*. If only love could make us change and grow, but most often it’s just self-serving.) and they turn into princes that rule over their life/desires/whatever-thing-one-thinks-more-relevant. By saying people have the wisdom of frogs you state that enlightenment is just one step away. Good one.
Re:P.S. Yes. And I’ll mention them again since they are relevant to this topic too. “How are they relevant?” you ask. *thinks for a moment* They signify the abundance of freely given blessings. *whistles innocently* Yeah.
Wisdom does not come with age, wisdom comes with experience… wisdom comes when you fail, wisdom comes when you’re willing to learn… wisdom is when you stop asking “why did it happen to me?” and start asking “how can i change it?”
being “mature” yet “childish”, i think what you really meant is being able of looking out for yourself and others in a responsible way, but still be able to enjoy life and have some fun…
changing: now this is a extremely interesting topic… most people fear change, they see change as something bad… but truth is they fear not the process… they fear the aftermath, they fear what people will say and think about them after they will change… i know its like that because i feared change too… yet i was forced to adapt… and so i discovered that most people appreciated the change… so why not change? why not try? if it truly was a wrong change you can always change again, in something better… if you want to change just do it… nothing is stopping you… but i warn you… for any kind of change there is need of will power, some changes require more (working out your body) some require less (getting a new hairstyle)…
hope my words were of help…
I was never afraid of change or its consequences, but now I really don’t know what the right decision for my life would be… and I am afraid of losing motivation in other more important fields if I don’t go with my plans… I guess I will see on the way what to do. And thanks for your opinion!
@Peter Pan’s heavy set aniki: *rolley eyes* if we think hard, ANYTHING can have connection to boobies. What matters more is that we actually think about it. And you did. He he he…
We think too much …